Category Archives: Rants

I’ve been having writers block recently, wrist pain, and suffering from bad allergies, which has subsequently put me in a funky mood lately.  It’s really hard for me to praise establishments and write about unicorns and rainbows in this mood, so here is my therapy/venting session to the world and a couple things I HATE about Hawaii…

• Having to shop at 10 different grocery stores.  For some reason not one grocery store can get it right and have all the items that you need in one place.  Prices vary significantly from store to store and if you want to save any money on the island it is necessary to shop around.  If you want something specific you have to go to multiple grocery stores. If I want organic I have to shop at one store, local items at another, better noodles at one, and inexpensive milk at another.  My favorite thing is when you look forward to a sale and go to grab it off the shelf and its all sold out…how can 1,000 cans of tuna sold out?
• Traffic all day long.  Seriously, can anyone ever get anywhere on time on this island? No matter what day of the week, time of the day, there is always traffic.  Either road work, yard work, or a stupid stalled car is the culprit of all day long traffic.  If you live and work in a couple mile radius, then fu** you because you probably don’t drive in traffic as much as I do and that’s about 90% of the time. 
• The gas price dance.  Up, down, down, up, what’s the deal? From day to day, to gas station to gas station the gas prices are constantly going up and down with no reasonable explanation.  Gas stations and the USA government can shove it because they got us all dancing like puppets at the pump.
• Parking. OMG, soon the island isn’t going to have  anymore free parking.  It’s cruel enough we pay $4 a gallon for gas and now if we take our car anywhere we have to also pay for parking at what seems like every single establishment.  Does someone own every piece of pavement and every single curb?

Okay, this has been bothering me for quite some time now. Recently, I have noticed a ton of surfer girls in the water with straight up thongs, g-strings, or simple their tiny bathing suit crammed up their a**!  What’s the deal??!!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a up-tight conservative chick and even wear Brazilian cut suits, so the girls I’m talking about are borderline obscene.  Tiny suits can be cute on surfer chicks, but there is a line that surfer chicks must not cross.  I was out the other day with a girl who had nothing but what looked like dental floss on for a bottom! Really?! Not what we need to see in the lineup.  

What’s even worst then seeing a thong in the lineup is a girl in a thong with a bad butt! I’ve also seen some chicks with cottage cheese butts in the lineup, and I thought I was going to vomit. 

Ladies save your thongs for laying out on the sand and please cover it up when you board-up.  You’re not doing anyone any favors, but making yourself look like a skanky surfer.  That old saying, “less is more,” does NOT apply here. You are giving normal surfer girls a bad name with this slutty look, so cut it out or stay away from my surf breaks!